Never Stop

If you're like me, every time the latest iPad commercial comes on I can't help but tapping along.  No matter how many times I hear that damn piano riff I move my fingers and do-do-do along.

I finally decided to find out what the tune is.  It's called Never Stop by Chilly Gonzales -- a Canadian musician currently living in Paris (must get to Paris again!)  Check out the video (I absolutely love it).

Sunday with Magnum

I had a date this morning with a Magnum.

No, not a bottle of champagne.

No, not Tom Selleck.

Our friend Derek (of the lobster fame) called and invited us (me specifically) to come out and shoot some pistols.  Never a girl to say no to something completely ridiculous, off we went.

Now, I'm not a lover of guns.  I don't own a gun and I have no desire to own a gun.  I think guns are movie props and have no place in the real world.  I'm fortunate to have never felt the breeze of a gun being waved in my face.  But it so happens  I  know people who own guns.  Canadian people.  Male people.  And I happen to like and think highly of these Canadian male people, who own and shoot guns.  Derek is one of these people.

So when he offered me the opportunity to shoot a pistol, I thought that if I'm going to be against guns I really should see one in action.  Donning earmuffs and goggles I entered the highly secure range and found myself in a world that was strangely familiar (haven't we all seen these ranges on cop shows?).  Derek showed me the proper procedures for loading, cocking and firing, then handed me a 22 calibre pistol.  He sent the target down range.  I picked up the pistol, took aim and fired.

Flames and smoke came out of the barrel.  It was the old friggin' West.  And honestly, it was kind of cool.  The casing from the second shot flew back at me and seared itself to my neck, then fell down my shirt.  I, being no pansy, kept firing.  Once I finished the cartridge, I put the gun down, reached down my top and pulled the casing out of my bra.  My new Change bra (see previous post).  I don't think this is what my bra was intended for.   The 22 calibre is small stuff though, compared to what else Derek had for me to shoot (there is virtually no kick-back -- it's kind of like a water pistol on steroids).

Next was a 9mm pistol, which is what the Vancouver Police force uses.  It was actually lighter than the 22 calibre, but packed way more of a wallop.  When I cocked it (you all have such dirty minds), it felt substantial (still -- dirty minds) and when I fired it, there was a definite kick-back.  And it was insanely satisfying (This is all sounding so carnal, isn't it?  Maybe this is part of pistols appeal?).  Don't I look insanely satisfied?

Next -- Magnum.  It was a Colt 45 and was really quite a beautiful gun.  Derek loaded one bullet into the cartridge for me and suggested I just try it, as the kick-back is huge and it might hurt my wrist.  If I didn't like it he would give me the 9mm back.

Well this thing was crazy.  Shell casings were flying everywhere (I had done up my jacket though so none found the refuge of my cleavage),  and the smell of creosote was in the air.  It didn't hurt my wrist, it didn't hurt my shoulder.  It only hurt my target.

The Boyfriend and I shared this target, as we took turns shooting.  But the one bullseye?  That's mine.  Derek gave me the target and suggested I tape it to our front door and write on it "I Don't Call 911".  I think I will let The Boyfriend take it to work.  He's trying to get a pay increase and this might have some impact.  Besides our neighbour is Vegan, and I like her.

All I can say is that firing a gun is a strange experience.  I felt a huge rush of adrenaline and a real thrill.  Derek says that he's noticed that women seem to get more of a thrill than men.  I think it may be that we've always been seen as the "weaker sex" and that a gun acts as an equalizer.  A huge man and a small woman have the same amount of power when they point a gun -- whether at a target or a person.  It's the gun that does the talking.  And this is what makes them truly dangerous.

Change Will Do You Good

I had the great fortune to go bra shopping on Saturday. I think most of you women out there will agree, bra shopping ranks way up there on the "things we love to do" list. Right up there with bathing suit shopping, jeans shopping, and gynecological exams.

My old bra was barely keeping the girls front and up, where they belonged. The final clincher was when I pulled the old girl out of the washing machine and it came wrapped around my yoga pants and The Boyfriend's long johns (yes, we are aleady wearing long johns in Canada -- go ahead, have your little laugh. Global warming -- hmph) and it was now suitable for slingshot use only.

Amy, my dear hair stylist (whom you have met here before) had recommended Change but I was a little skeptical. Amy's somewhat less endowed than I am and is able to wear a much larger selection of bras. If I even go near La Senza my boobs pop out of my bra -- just in anticipation of me bending over. But I took her advice. And am I ever glad I did. It was the best bra shopping experience of my life. It may have been the best shopping experience. Period.

First of all the store was full of beautiful things -- all sorts of styles, colours, and patterns. Second, the staff were really knowledgable and helpful. They put me in a change room, measured me, and were back in no time with handfuls of bras. Yvonne helped me and she is my new best friend.  She brought me every bra she currently owns. The first one I tried on I'm still wearing today (well, I did take it off to sleep, but barely).  It's a gorgeous satin navy blue and is called a balconette. 

My girls feel like they are 20 again.  I walked out of the store with 4 bras in an assortment of colours (and an agreement to call Yvonne so we don't wear the same bra to the same event), my shoulders back and my head held high.  I even bent over to pet a dog.  No double exposure!  I also received a free gift.  A mesh bra washing bag.  No more tangles with the yoga pants and long johns. 

Whe I got home I had a good look at the bag.

Here's what the fine print says:

Clean Home Daily-using Commodity Co., ltd
Washing Bag - New product of 21th century

Usage Direction:

Choose suitable bag before washing.  When filling clothes, make it less than 2/3 of the bag's subage.  Put it into washing machine ofter drawing zipper.

Characteristics:

Protect clothes, reduce rolling and distortion in washing maching and make clothes in previous state.

Mesh disperse running water.  Bag surface cooperate with washing machine and makes washing easier and quiklier.

Protect crock of washing machine and lengthen the usage of washing machine.

Made of guilified material and being durable, it is the perfect washing article of modern family.

There are no typos above.  Honest.  I'm not sure what a washing machine's crock is or what guilified material is, but given the wink and thumbs up I'm sure to be very happy with my new product of 21th century.

This is one change that will definitely do me good.

Eat Love Savor

A few weeks ago I got an email with the interesting subject line of  "Friend of Gaylene".  My first reaction was that it was some sort of spam, but then curiosity got the better of me and I opened it up.  Turned out it was really an email from a woman who is a friend of Gaylene (And I actually know Gaylene too.  We used to work together.).  The woman, Angela Tunner, had mentioned to Gaylene that she was looking for writers for her online magazine Eat. Love. Savor. and Gaylene suggested Angela take a look at my blog, as I might be a good fit.  And I suppose after reading a few of my posts, Angela thought I was a good fit too.

I called Angela and we had a great conversation (over an hour -- sometimes you just click with someone) and we agreed to move forward with me joining her writing team.  Angela sent me a topic and it was up to me to do the research and write it up.

This past week my first article appeared and I couldn't be more thrilled.  Please check out Discover:  Lillet -- The French Wine Aperitif  at Eat. Love. Savor.  Check out the entire magazine.  It's just beautiful.  Angela has a great eye and I believe great things are going to happen for her -- and through her hopefully for me too.

Arcade Fire does the Suburbs with Google

There is this little band from Montreal called Arcade Fire. They are a husband and wife duo -- Win Butler and Régine Chassagne and the band has guitar, drums and bass guitar, piano, violin, viola, cello, double bass, xylophone, glockenspiel, keyboard, French horn, accordion, harp, mandolin and hurdy-gurdy. Incredible.  Their music is good too -- their latest release "The Suburbs" entered the Billboard Top 200 albums chart at No. 1.  But I think what they are doing with Google is just about the coolest thing I've seen in a long time.

Growing up in the suburbs is something a lot of us from "middle America" are familiar with.  And we can all appreciate the feeling of there being no place like home. Arcade Fire has just released an interactive video for the album's single, "We Used To Wait" using Google satellite technology.  Just enter your childhood home address -- sit back and watch the story unfold.

the wilderness downtown

90210

Well would you look at the date today. It's September 2nd, 2010. And for all you Beverly Hills devotees, that translates to 90210. I was not a fan of the show, but it does take me back to 1990 and Seinfeld, Twin Peaks, Pretty Woman, and Tears for Fears. We had some fun back then, didn't we?

We all wanted the Rachel haircut,

Grunge

Doc Martens

Windows 3.0

On the other hand, maybe things weren't so great.

George Bush Sr is President

Operation Desert Shield begins

and so does the US Recession

Depletion of the Ozone layer over the North pole is detected

Hmmm...makes a girl pause to ponder. 

In 2010 we are still in the midst of a world wide recession,  still fighting Operation Iraqi Freedom and we now have Windows 7.  Oh, and there's a new 90210. 

It would appear that history really does repeat itself.  Too bad it wasn't the good stuff.