July 13, 2010
A colleague came into my office this morning and asked if I'd take the emergency calls tonight. He's taking a motorcycle training course and tonight is the night they do their first road ride. I laughed and said ok, but that he'd owe me. He said he'd do it for me but I reminded him that when I took my motorcycle training two years ago, I was on-call and he didn't do it for me. He said that he would have if I'd asked.
Seems so logical, but here's the thing. I'd never ask.
If it's my job to do something I just do it. It would never dawn on me to ask someone else to do something I was supposed to be doing. I would plan my social life to accommodate my work schedule, if need be.
This started me thinking about asking others for help (which I have a really hard time doing this).
I'm not interested in playing the martyr and don't moan about how much I have to do, or how burdened I am. I don't avoid asking for help so that people will say "OMG, look how dedicated/committed/capable Lianne is." I don't think others can't do the things I do, as well as I do them (ok, ok...but not all the time).
So why can't I ask for help?
I do know that I don't want to appear to be needy or weak, or incapable of juggling the many balls life throws at me. I do know that others have enough to do without having to do things for me too. I do know that if I've invited you over to my home, you are a treasured guest and I want you to sit back, relax and enjoy yourself. And I do know that if I really, really need help (like the time I was stuck up to my knees in a sink hole of muck), you will definitely know I need help.
I'm curious if this is a gender thing. Or if it's an only child thing. Or if it's not a thing at all and that's just the way it is.
What do you think?
Posted by Lianne at 11:30 AM