Where Have You Been?

Sharon of Bookish Blonde asked how many times can a woman find love. Reading her post I was reminded of a song that I heard many years ago but has always stuck with me.

I was working as a courier for FedEx and my route was Southern Ontario with stops in Paris, Scotland, Delhi and Woodstock (all without any of the ambiance of their much better-known counterparts). We are talking rural baby. My van was usually full of parts for combines, harvesters, that sort of thing, for the local J.I. Case dealers.

The year was 1989 and I had been in a relationship for almost two years. I thought it was going well, but in reality he was still hung up on a woman who had dumped him 10 years before. I knew this but believed my love would heal his heart and I would win his true affection, undying love and committment (ok, so I was young and naive).

So picture if you will -- I'm driving a van through small town, rural Ontario. Most of the people in the towns wave as I drive by. I'm listening to the radio. This song comes on by Kathy Mattea called "Where Have you Been". I've never heard it before. Almost from the first verse I am crying so hard I have to pull my FedEx van over to the side of the road. I can't see a thing, I can't breathe. Towns people stop to ask if I'm okay. I'm extremely embarrassed, but I can't stop crying because I realize that the relationship I have doesn't hold a candle to what Claire and Edwin have. But I also realize that it might just be possible to find it. I don't know if I'm crying more for the lost illusion or the future promise.




Claire had all but given up
When she and Edwin fell in love
She touched his face and shook her head
In disbelief she sighed and said
In many dreams I've held you near
Now at last you're really here

Where have you been?
I've looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away

He asked her for her hand for life
Then she became a salesman's wife
He was home each night by eight
But one stormy evening he was late
Her frightened tears fell to the floor
Until his key turned in the door

Where have you been?
I've looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away

They'd never spent a night apart
For sixty years she heard him snore
Now they're in a hospital
In seperate beds on different floors

Claire soon lost her memory, forgot the names of family
She never spoke a word again
Then one day they wheeled him in
He held her hand and stroked her hair
In a fragile voice she said

Where have you been
Ive searched for you forever and a day
Where have you been
Im just not myself when your away
Im just not myself when your away

Kathy Mattea wrote this song as a tribute to her grandparents' love story. I'm sending it out to all my friends as a reminder to never give up.

This song still makes me tear up, but for different reasons.