40ish going on 16

I have slipped back into teenage-girlhood and it's not pretty. Being back in the days of waiting for the phone to ring and when it didn't, picking it up to make sure it was still working -- hmmm -- yup, dial tone. And waiting some more. And picking it up some more. Watching the clock, waiting 10 of the longest minutes of my life, and doing it all over again. The whole waiting/picking up phone thing would have fallen into the Obsessive-Compulsive category if there was such a thing back then. The reason for this completely dysfunctional behaviour -- a Boy Crush. These were some of the most painful days of my life so why would I want to revisit them. I can't help it. I have a BLOG CRUSH.

At work I can only check the Blog Crush and my blog for a total of 5 minutes at a time for a grand total of 60 minutes (this thing on my work computer called Websense is my mother telling me to stop obsessing or else my phone priveleges will be suspended -- as of this moment I have 10 minutes left). But once I get home, I'm out of control. It's sick really. I check to see if there is a new post on the Blog Crush. If there is I rush to my blog to see if Blog Crush has posted any comments on what I have written. If there's a comment, I'm euphoric. I'm inspired. I'm the best blogger on the face of the earth. If there is no comment I feel that niggling sense of rejection. Doesn't Blog Crush like me anymore? Wasn't what I wrote good enough? Witty enough? Interesting enough? Maybe Blog Crush didn't have time to read my blog because they were hurrying to get their Blog done before heading out to an enviable social life, which I will read about later. Let a couple of days go by with no comment and I'm ready to never blog again. No one will ever find my blogs interesting or witty. There's just no point in going on.

How did I get here and how do I get out of this hell? I really must find a new diversion. Did I just hear a tweet?